


You're WHAT?!

by genderneutralnoun



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Asexual Kitagawa Yusuke, Better Texting Than Canon, Bisexual Sakura Futaba, Broji, Coffee Dad Sakura Sojiro, F/F, Female Persona 5 Protagonist, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Sakamoto Ryuji, Gremlin Akira, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I will turn that into a tag if I have to do so all by myself, Magical Lesbian Babies, Phantom Thieves? More like my stupid rat babies who I love all of so fucking much, Unplanned Pregnancy, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29780679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderneutralnoun/pseuds/genderneutralnoun
Summary: Makoto manages to get Akira pregnant. Which is weird, because they're both cis.Fairly typical sexual content for discussing pregnancy and the processes involved. As a bonus, no cisheteronormative language! Yay!
Relationships: Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist, Sakura Futaba/Takamaki Ann
Comments: 12
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You ARE the Father](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24987532) by [Divine_shot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Divine_shot/pseuds/Divine_shot). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again, I have no excuse for this. Other than that I have Makoto brainworms.

Honestly, this entire thing was all her fault.

It started when her period was late. Considering the stress she was under, it wasn’t that unexpected, but when she started throwing up in the mornings, she knew she had to check.

_Dammit._

So here she was, in the bathroom of LeBlanc, holding a positive pregnancy test despite never having had sex with a person with a penis in her life.

_I wonder if that’s actually true? Considering what we did, would that be considered a penis? Well, Makoto doesn’t have a penis on a regular basis, anyway._

It was Morgana who gave her the idea of using their Personas in things outside of battle. It was herself, Akira, who had the incredibly horny thought of using them for sex. It took a few weeks to perfect it, but Makoto could now summon a fully functioning penis, which they used for far too many escapades to name. Being the leader and second in command of the Phantom Thieves was stressful, after all.

_Fully functioning indeed._

_Makoto will not react well to this._

Akira washes her hands and makes herself modest again, tucking the pregnancy test in a plastic bag and that into her pocket. She’d dispose of it in some alley trash can. Opening the door, she sits at one of the booths and pulls out her phone

As usual when she had to break some news to her overprotective girlfriend, she texted Futaba first.

Akira: IM PRAEGNENT FUTABA

Futaba: WHAT

Futaba: WHO GOT YOU PREGGERS

Akira: MAKOTO

Futaba: W U T

Futaba: H O W

Akira: SECRET LESBIAN PERSONA POWERS

Futaba: UHM

Futaba: YOU HAVE SECRET LESBIAN PERSONA POWERS

Futaba: AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?!?!?!?!?!?!

Futaba: I COULD HAVE BEEN HAVING ANN F

Futaba: UH

Akira: Fess up. Now.

Futaba admitted that she and Ann had been “exploring their sexualities together”, as she put it, but apparently Futaba was falling hard for her anyway. (The details are not expanded on in this fanfiction for the sake of its readers.)

Akira: I’m all for casual sex and whatnot but that’s uh, kinda unlike you

Futaba: shes just so fucking hot okay

Futaba: and when she approached me about whether i was bisexual due to the lack of discrimination in my naked anime figurines i just

Akira: Hol up

Akira: ANN approached YOU?

Futaba: i mean do you see me approaching her

Akira: Okay fair

Futaba: anyway, youre gregnant

Akira: It sucks.

Futaba: you have to tell dad.

Akira: He’s going to kill me.

Futaba: if he doesnt, your probation officer will.

Akira: Shit u rite. Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

Futaba: i am going to fucking end you.

Futaba: also we discussed this, you have to live at least a year with us before youre allowed to call dad dad. too weird otherwise.

Akira: I didn’t, I called him Father

Futaba: is it more of a crime to kill a pregnant person than a non-pregnant person?

This went on for quite a while, the two bickering like they’d been siblings forever. Finally, Akira decided the time had come.

Akira: Hey. Makoto-senpai.

Makoto: Yes?

Akira: We may have a problem. Well it’s mostly my problem, but technically yours as well. At least I hope you consider it yours.

Makoto: Please speak plainly.

Akira: I’m pregnant.

Pause.

Makoto: Are you telling me you’ve been seeing someone else in a very distressing way?

Akira: Nope. Unless I’m the next Holy Mary, this kid is yours.

Makoto: This had better not be one of your stupid jokes.

Akira: I still got the pregnancy test if you wanna see it.

Pause.

Makoto: You’re serious, aren’t you?

Akira: I’m as serious as an unplanned pregnancy.

Makoto: Goddammit.

Akira cackles at Makoto’s adorable, if predictable reaction.

Akira: I seriously am serious though. I probably shouldn’t joke about this.

Makoto: If you weren’t joking, I’d suspect something was up.

Akira: Fair.

Akira: I’m going to have to tell Boss so he can help smooth things over with my probation officer. What I’m not looking forward to is explaining how you, a person without a penis, got me pregnant.

Makoto: I can do some research.

Akira: You really expect to find a way that two vagina owners could accidentally have gotten one of them pregnant?

Akira: Wait a sec

Makoto: ?

Akira: I said wait dumbass

Akira shifted over to another chat.

Akira: Futaba I need you to help me with something

Futaba: explaining how makoto-san got you pregnant? already on it.

Akira: Best sis.

Futaba: shut up, clown.

Futaba: okay sooooo, this lesbian couple, family name narukami, friend of a transmasc nonbinary person, teamed up with the kirijo group and found a way for vagina owners to grow fully functioning dicks, temporarily or not. buuuut because queerphobia the project was mostly hush hush.

Akira: And this helps me how?

Futaba: im getting to it

Futaba: say i was bored and hacked the kirijo group and told you about it.

Akira: Wouldn’t you know that it might get me pregnant though?

Futaba: i teamed up with the kirijo group anonymously, testing their defenses. their encryption is very high tech stuff; even when you translate it, it comes out in fragments, some bigger and some smaller.

Futaba: in reality i have access to a lot of their data in exchange for my help, though a lot more of it is buried under weird code i cant even touch. kinda reminds me of the nav actually…

Futaba: anyway, dad knows a little of stuff ive told him about code, hell get that i didnt know about the risks. ill get a royal chewing out for it though.

Akira: You really willing to do that for me?

Futaba: hey, where would i be if our leader got sent to juvie for getting preggers?

Akira: Fair point. Let me know when you have the story ready and tell me what I’ll need to know so we can tell him.

* * *

It was the next day after school that they were both ready. Sojiro reacts about as well as expected.

“You’re WHAT?!” Akira thanks the god of barely visited cafes for the fact that there were no customers. “You- but- but how?!”

“Well, when two or more people love each other very much…”

“Don’t get smart with me, young lady.”

“The kid is Makoto-san’s," Futaba interjects cheerfully.

“WHAT?!”

They explained their story perfectly. Sojiro looks like he’s about to pass out.

“You,” he finally says, pointing at Futaba. “I’ll deal with you later. Get out of here.” Futaba scampers away, still grinning. “You,” this time pointing at Akira, “are in big trouble, young ma’am.”

“Can you really blame me? I didn’t know there was a risk.” _That part is true at least._

Sojiro rubs the back of his neck. “Well, yeah, but- That’s not the point! Unprotected sex has more risks than just getting pregnant- diseases, for one thing…”

“Neither of us had ever had sex before or with anyone else since. We didn’t use a condom because of that, and because we didn’t think it would get me pregnant. Also, frankly, we were too excited. If it makes you feel better, we’ll use protection from now on.” _Here comes the hammer._

Surprising her, Sojiro suddenly chuckles. “Well, I suppose I can’t really blame you for wanting to spend time with someone…” He sighs, then leans forward, looking into her eyes. “…You’re serious about this girl, aren’t you?”

Even before this, Akira hadn’t really considered that. _I… I am, aren’t I? I wanna spend my life with her… if we ever get out of this mess we’ve gotten ourselves into._ Akira smiled shyly, suddenly imagining it. “Yes. I am.”

Sojiro sighs again. “Dammit, I can’t stay mad at you, not when you’re so sincere. Alright, I’ll figure out some way to smooth it over with the probation officer… you just focus on school for now, yeah? And take care of yourself, even better than you had before. You’re eating for two now.”

Akira’s face lights up, before she hugs Sojiro. “Thank you, Boss!” She giggles mischievously. “Maybe if it’s a boy, I’ll name it after you!”

“Wha-”

As soon as he can process it, Akira is out the door.

“Sheesh… The girl is trouble.”

* * *

Akira tells Ryuji at lunch the next day.

“You’re WHAT?!”

“Keep it down, will you?” She’s still smiling.

“But bro… You told Futaba first? That’s so not cool!”

Akira pokes his nose gently. “She’s practically my sister; closest thing I have anyway. Siblinghood trumps brohood, unfortunately.”

“You also told Makoto first!”

“I think you know why that is.”

“And Boss!”

“He’s practically my dad at this point.”

“Okay, okay, fine,” Ryuji grumbles. “When are you telling the others?”

“Probably at my place after school today.” She giggles. “Maybe Yusuke will want to do a painting of me…”

“If he tries to get you to nude model for him again, I won’t hesitate to punch him.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary…”

* * *

For their credit, the rest of the Phantom Thieves take it from much to slightly better. Ann just stares at her, dumbfounded, Haru looks uncomfortable, Morgana had already overheard, and Yusuke is, well, Yusuke.

“Fascinating…” Yusuke did his trademark finger-frame, positioned over where Makoto and Akira were sitting together. “So the student council president has knocked up the notorious transfer student. What a stunning turn of events…” 

Makoto turns beet red. “Kn-knocked up?!”

Akira sighs and rolls her eyes at Yusuke. “You’ve watched too much hentai.”

“As have you.”

“That I can’t deny.” She smiles. For some reason, despite everything, she can’t stop smiling, nor can she stop cradling her stomach, where only the tiniest of extra bulge had formed. “This isn’t going to change anything, though, alright? With any luck, we’ll have the problems our team is in over with before it starts to affect me adversely.”

“I don’t like it,” Makoto sighs. “The Metaverse is so dangerous… Too much damage to your stomach, and everything will go wrong. Are you sure you don’t want to- I mean, you’re so young-”

Akira turns to face Makoto. “I do,” she murmurs. “This kid is your gift, whether you meant it or not. I would be a fool to refuse a gift from such an amazing girl.” Akira pecks her on her rapidly reddening cheek.

“Awww,” Ann says. “You two are so cute.”

“I ship it,” Futaba adds, nodding sagely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there I was, looking for Fem Akiren x Goro Akechi because I'm bi, when I found this amazing fic called "You ARE The Father", linked as an inspiration to this fic. I've yet to fall completely into the Shuake wormhole because I haven't beat P5R so I've held off on a lot of fic reading, and technically posting this goes against my personal rules, but I wrote almost all of this last night when I couldn't sleep and now that I'm sleep-deprived I had to finish it, edit it to my satisfaction, and post it.
> 
> I MIGHT add more chapters later. No promises though.
> 
> Akira: I'm gregnent *t-poses*  
> Futaba: She's preggers *t-poses as well*  
> Sojiro: Why did I think being a dad was a good idea again?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, the sequel nobody asked for.

“You did WHAT?!”

Makoto wanted to sink into the ground. The only other time she could remember being anywhere near this embarrassed was when Sae gave her The Talk, but this still took the cake.

“I got my girlfriend pregnant,” she mumbles.

“Okay. Okay.” Sae pinches the bridge of her nose. “First of all, I won’t interfere with your relationships, but I  _ did _ tell you that dating in high school would likely end up affecting your grades. Second of all, I  _ know _ you wouldn’t joke about this, but  _ how?! _ ”

Makoto gives her the story she’d practiced; same as Akira’s for Sojiro, but omitting the fact that Futaba was a hacker without outright lying about it, just in case Sae checked it with him.

“…I cannot believe this.” Sae’s face had taken that unreadable expression that was so common with her these days, and Makoto feels the same twinge of pain she always did at that. “You’re going to take responsibility, right?”

“Of course!” Makoto answers perhaps a little too hastily. “I love her, after all.” As usual, the words slipped out on their own accord, and she blushed slightly.

“Speaking of which, who is she?”

“…A transfer student this year. Kurusu Akira.”

“WHAT?!”

* * *

Suffice to say, the news that Makoto was dating, and had subsequently impregnated, the criminal transfer student did not go over well. She managed to worm her way out of total grounding by pointing out that she has student council duties, but Sae would no doubt be watching her more closely than ever.

Makoto: Akira-chan, I have bad news. Sis didn’t take the news well.

Akira: O crap

Akira: We can stop seeing each other if you need???

Makoto: Let me finish!

Makoto: Sis is accepting of us, first of all.

Akira: Oh thank god.

Makoto: Well, accepting of the fact that I’m dating, and dating a girl at that. Not that I was worried about the latter; she’s queer herself as well.

Akira: I sense a but coming.

Makoto: She has heard of your unique reputation. She’s highly concerned not only that associating with you will be to my detriment, but also that you could be dangerous.

Akira: This is kinda inappropriate but I fucking love it when you use big words like that.

Pause.

Makoto: You are very sweet to say so.

Akira: And you’re cute as hell.

Pause.

Makoto: Anyway, she won’t force us to break up, but I do suspect that she’ll try to influence me not to see you.

Akira: Sucks to be her.

Makoto: Indeed.

Makoto: Anyway, I’m afraid we’re going to have to keep out-of-school meetups mostly only regarding our Phantom Thief business.

Akira: Mostly, huh? Just can’t stay away, can you?~

Pause.

Makoto: I think we could make an exception for tonight…

* * *

Life goes on fairly normally, for the Phantom Thieves, anyway. Akechi worms his way onto their team, and they’re about to head out to Sae’s Palace when Akira realizes he doesn’t know yet, and resolves to fix that.

“Oh, by the way, Akechi-san.” Akira gives him her trademark shit-eating grin, and places a hand on her stomach. “I’m pregnant.”

Akechi jumps in his seat, his eyes wide as saucers. “What?!”

Ann immediately caught on. “Oh, yup. Not that that’ll stop her!”

“Are you joking?!”

“I’m deadly serious.” Akira tilted her head towards Makoto. “And it’s all my girlfriend’s fault.”

“Wait- Niijima-san, are you-”

“We’re both cis,” Akira interrupts, her smile growing as Akechi grows increasingly uncomfortable. “Let’s just say, we were using our Personas for more than battle.”

Akechi groaned, raising a hand as if to facepalm, but apparently thinking better of it. “Why do you even feel the need to tell me this?!”

“Because I’ll kill you if you let Akira-chan get hurt,” Makoto says, completely seriously. Everyone except Akechi and Makoto bursts into laughter.

“I am surrounded by utter fools,” Akechi growls to himself, gripping the hem of his shirt.

* * *

“Watch out!”

Makoto dives into Akira, knocking them both out of the way of a Mudoon spell that would’ve landed. Yusuke’s Persona freezes the last enemy solid and Ryuji shatters it, before the whole group rushes over to their leader and second in command.

“Ah, Queen-senpai, you’re so rough,” Akira teases. “You’d better be careful, or you’ll hurt my little number two.”

“ _ Little number two?! _ ” Makoto chokes, even as she scrambles to get off of her.

“Well, yeah. You’re my big number two.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re a square.”

“What does that even mean?!”

“It means you’re a stiff- mmh!” Further conversation was rendered irrelevant.

“I cannot believe those two,” Akechi says in disgust.

“Neither can I, but hey, at least we get a show,” Futaba says cheekily.

Yusuke finger frames them again. “You better not be gettin’ off to this,” Ryuji threatens.

“The same goes for you.”

“I’m gay you idiot!”

“I am asexual, so it seems we have a similar excuse.” Yusuke adjusts his frame. “Regardless of my sexuality, however, I can still appreciate the beauty in the passions of youth.”

“Oh for the love of God.” 

Morgana sighs, then walks over to where the pair were exchanging oxygen. “Break time’s over, you two.”

“Mmmgh… five more minutes…”

“He’s right, Joker.” Makoto untangles herself, looking both embarrassed and reluctant. “I… let myself get distracted again.”

“I remember the first time you two made out in a Palace.” Haru giggles, something that makes everyone instantly alert. “You said ‘It won’t happen again’, but after the third or fourth time, you stopped saying that.”

“Shut up.”

“No~”

“Guys, we need to get back into it!” Morgana jumps up and down, waving his arms. “This isn’t even a safe room, an enemy could find us at any moment!”

“Always the practical one.” Akira accepts Makoto’s help to stand up, then blows her a kiss. “Right then! I’m all charged up; my lover’s touch has rejuvenated me!”

Makoto sighed, still blushing. “You are just too much, you know that?”

* * *

Takemi’s clinic was a lot busier these days, so Akira was only able to get in about a week after finding out. Makoto insisted on going with, of course.

“So, you’re the sire?” Takemi looked Makoto up and down. “I assume you’re part of Akira-chan’s little group, then?”

“L-little group?”

“She means the Phantom Thieves,” Akira whispered.

“O-oh. Yes, I’m second in command.”

“That makes sense.” Takemi nodded. “You’re probably the one keeping her from overexerting herself, as well as making sure she doesn’t goof off too much. You’ll make a good wife and mother.”

“Huh?”

“May I feel?” Akira lifts her shirt with a nod. Takemi put her hand on her stomach, and despite herself, Makoto bit her lip, feeling a rather inappropriate surge of protectiveness.

“Well, well, well.” Takemi smirked. “Looks like my little guinea pig is having a piglet.”

“G-guinea pig?!”

“Didn’t I tell you?” Akira tilted her head at Makoto. “In exchange for providing us with medicine for cheap, I let Takemi test her medicines on me.”

“What?!” Makoto pulled Akira closer, making both her and Takemi chuckle.

“Don’t worry, the most she was in danger of was fainting, vomiting and losing her voice temporarily,” Takemi chuckled. “After the first dose, anyway.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asexual Sae? Asexual Sae.
> 
> Credit to my mutual crush and cutest boy in the whole world, Paradox, for the line "Looks like my little guinea pig's having a piglet." I love you, you horny idiot.
> 
> Akira still calls Makoto Makoto-senpai because she's a gremlin and thinks it's hot, while Makoto calls her Akira-chan because she's self-conscious. She does call her just Akira when they're getting it on, tho.~
> 
> I'm so sorry for barely having Ann in this. This BS just kinds of, flows out like piss. I just work here.


End file.
